Before:
The Institute of Sustainable Systems and Technologies (ISST) was established as a response to the identification of sustainability as a priority area for immediate expansion of teaching and research in the University’s academic profile.
After:
The University identified sustainability as a priority area for its teaching and research and established ISST for that purpose.
Before
Adequate affordable housing is a crucial part of sustainable communities and proactive intervention was regarded as the means to encourage a market response to addressing the needs of low to moderate income households.
After:
Adequate affordable housing is a crucial part of sustainable communities. As one of the ways of tackling the problem, the South Australian government encourages the housing industry to help meet the needs of low to moderate income households.
Before:
The program supports the development pathway to encourage them to meet their future social aspirations.
After:
The program helps them work towards a better future.
Before:
The overall aim of the project has been to strengthen cross-agency relationships to facilitate increased capacity to respond in a timely and effective manner with Aboriginal families at risk of child removal.
After:
The program works to strengthen cross-agency relationships to provide a quick response for Aboriginal families at risk of child removal.
Before:
However, for subjects where the external component samples a specific part of the assessment domain (for example practical skills) it may be that aspects of the criteria for the school-based and external components are different.
After:
However, for subjects where the external component assesses a specific area, eg. practical skills, the criteria might be different.
Before (complex/compound sentences)
Students develop skills of self-awareness through for example on-line self assessment tools and use the information gained to help them plan for completing their SACE as well as for their future beyond school.
After (revised as simple sentences)
Students develop skills of self-awareness through, for example, on-line self assessment tools. They use the information gained to help them plan for completing their SACE and for their futures after school.
Passive Voice / Active Voice
1. Before
This draft working document has been prepared by the future SACE Office. It is endorsed by the SACE Review Implementation Steering Committee for use in schools during the pilots.
After:
The Future SACE Office prepared this draft working document. The SACE Review Implementation Steering Committee endorsed its use in schools during the pilot programs.
2. Before
Grades will be checked by independent moderators to make sure grading is fair and consistent across all schools.
After
Independent moderators will check grades to make sure grading is fair and consistent across all schools.
3. Before
Students are supported to shape their own personal learning in order to develop knowledge and skills to participate successfully in school and beyond. Students’ learning is shaped by a variety of contexts ― for example, cultural, family, peer, school, religious, local and global contexts. Through participation in the program of learning there are opportunities for students to: …..
After
Students’ learning is shaped by a variety of influences ― for example, cultural, family, peer, school, religious, local and global contexts. The PLP supports students to structure their own personal learning in order to develop knowledge and skills to participate successfully in school, community, work, training and further education. The program of learning provides opportunities for students to: …..